Busy is a Choice - Now More Than Ever
“Strong leaders recognize that their influence directly impacts the emotional well-being of an organization, team, or home. ”
Many years ago when out on a run with a dear friend, who also happens to be an amazing organizational leader, she said something that stuck with me. Our runs are often a time to reflect on life, family, work, leadership, books, and music. We share many things in common, which make the miles fly by. This particular day, we were discussing plans for the upcoming weekend including all of the events, activities, and get-togethers we would be rushing around to. Like many working parents, we were talking about it almost as something that was “one more thing” on top of an already busy schedule. That day, however, my friend said something that almost made me stop in my tracks mid-run. She said, “yes, we all have a lot going on this weekend, but rather than be frustrated by it, I always try to remind myself that busy is a choice.”
Wow! Yes! It certainly is.
From then on, I tried to reframe every activity that filled my schedule by talking about what I got to do versus what I had to do. After all, I was CHOOSING to do all of these things. I was choosing to sign my kids up for swim team, soccer, and dance class. I was choosing to pursue a doctoral degree and work in a career that kept me busy not only in the workplace, but also in the evening and on weekends. I was choosing to do all of these things because I loved doing them, but due to my choices, my to-do list was never-ending. Once I started viewing my busy schedule through that lens, it no longer seemed like a chore, or “one more thing” to do. The reality was, if I wanted to be less busy, I could choose to do that, too.
Fast forward a few years to 2020. “Busy is a choice” is starting to take on a VERY different meaning.
The entire globe is now at war with a silent enemy, COVID-19. Many of us now reflect on our lives from a few months ago, when we all were so “busy” and long for those less complicated times. At the same time, people like me, who chose to keep their schedules occupied pre-COVID, are now floundering, feeling their sense of self-worth questioned, sometimes even wondering what exactly is the purpose of waking up every morning to face another day of staying home and doing the exact same thing as the day before.
Don’t get me wrong, even in quarantine many people are still very busy, if not even busier. We are now keeping up with online meetings with teams of employees, online meetings with bosses, home-schooling our children, checking in with elderly relatives (as a safe social distance of course), making sure our kids don’t miss an assignment or a zoom call, that they get outside and play, and don’t have too much time on electronics, being sure to read and stay current, the list goes on and on. We are still extremely busy, often still overwhelmed, but it just feels so very different.
For many of us, that different feeling is hard to define and even more difficult to wrap our heads around. And that is okay; stop being hard on yourselves about that. This situation we are all in right now is not typical. It is hopefully something we will never have to face again in our lifetime. One thing that we can remember right now is that as different as everything feels, some things remain the same. How we approach each day is our choice. Just as choosing to be “busy” pre-COVID was also within our control.
If there is a day that you wake up ready to attack the day, attend every work meeting with a smile on your face and a coffee in your hand, actively participate and contribute ideas in a staff meeting, read with your children and then teach them how to add fractions, then finish the day with a walk and yard work; if you wake up ready to conquer the world, go for it! Be proud of the productive day you had and sit down at the end of the day proud of the choices you made for yourself that day.
But, if the very next day, you wake up feeling melancholy. If you barely want to attend your staff meeting, let alone smile and contribute ideas, if your kids’ school consists of Disney and Netflix, and the only thing you want to do that day is sit, relax, wallow, and dream of days when we will no longer be in the situation that we are in right now, go for it! Be proud of yourself for listening to your emotional and mental needs, treating yourself with kindness, and own the choices that you made for yourself that day.
Whatever choice you make for yourself each day, remember those are all things that you got to do, not had to do. Now is not the time to get down on yourself about how you choose to tackle each day. In fact, you may flip back and forth, multiple times, between many emotional and mental states, even within the same day. But the most important thing to remember is how you choose to approach your day is just that, your choice. Like my wise friend told me years ago, busy is a choice, and even during a global pandemic, YOU get to make that choice for yourself. You can choose to spend your day lounging, relaxing, introspective. You can choose to spend your day active and busy non-stop. At a time when so many things are unknown and out of our control, that is one thing that is 100% within yours.
At this unique point in history, we are all leaders as we decide how to navigate this completely novel situation. Whether you are currently the leader of a company, a department, a school system, a classroom, or your own children’s school at home, please remember, it is a leader’s responsibility to model behavior for the people over whom she has influence. Right now, while we are at war with the coronavirus, it is a leader’s duty to show those with whom she interacts that being busy or doing absolutely nothing is a choice that they get to make, each and every day, and a choice that carries no shame. Strong leaders recognize that their influence directly impacts the emotional well-being of an organization, team, or a home. Strong leaders respond accordingly when challenged, and model the behavior they would like to see in those they lead. So, show those with whom you are interacting that some days might be easy, some days might be hard, and some days might feel absolutely impossible. Show them through your own behavior and words. Model with empathy and kindness. Be kind to yourself to show people that it is ok for them to be kind to themselves as well. It is not only part of your job description as a leader, it is your moral responsibility, now more than ever.