When Leaders Can See It All
Author: Sara Delgado, PhD
“Even though many leaders believe they are practicing these skills, remember, it is different to step into someone else’s shoes and actually think about how THEY feel in their shoes than to reflect on how YOU feel in them ”
If you google “best qualities of leaders” or another synonymous phrase, you will come across a plethora of lists from authors, current leaders, professors, etc. of what people who are lucky enough to serve others in leadership roles should and shouldn’t do. I will say; however, that over the years, I have noticed one overarching quality in those leaders who have provided more examples of what one “should” do versus what one “should not”.
Being a leader of people is no easy task. In order to effectively serve others, there is a myriad of intricacies that one must recognize and implement. This is not to simplify that fact by any means. One quality; however, that I have noticed in leaders who are able to passionately lead a community of people is the ability to see things from points of view other than their own. Whether this means showing true empathy when someone is struggling, stepping into someone else's shoes when sharing news about a change, making an unpopular decision when you know there are few people willing to stand shoulder to shoulder with you, or stepping out of your own bubble to lead a change that you may not even be on board with yourself. Even though many leaders believe they are practicing these skills, remember, it is different to step into someone else’s shoes and actually think about how THEY feel in their shoes than to reflect on how YOU feel in them (Gourguechon, 2017).
Unfortunately, in this day in age, perspective-taking is not easy. We live in a partisan society in which people would rather try to prove why their point of view is the “right” one versus taking the time to truly understand someone else’s. A leader, however, who recognizes differences in opinions and is willing to step out of her comfort zone, name that schism for what it is, and find a way to move forward will find it easier to lead through adversity and change than a leader who is not willing to take that step. This act of leadership does not mean that everyone will end up on the same page in peace and harmony, rather that the team may be able to come to a place where they recognize each other’s opinions as different, but valuable in their own right. A leader who can help her team come to this understanding together will experience more success than one who cannot.
While perspective-taking is not something that comes naturally to everyone, there are some ways to practice it in your daily leadership life. When making decisions, stop and think, Am I leaning this way because this decision is what I would want, or because this decision is best for the entire community. When listening to other people’s perspectives, do not listen with “the intent to discredit or disprove” the speaker, but to actively hear and understand what the other speaker is saying and the feelings behind it (Cools, 2018). As a leader, you do not have to change your views to agree with the other person, but you DO have to allow that person to be truly heard. Finally, recognize that empathy and perspective-taking are not easy. Allow yourself time to reflect on your daily decisions as a leader and whether you took the time to consider the perspectives of your team that day, or focused mainly on your own. If the answer is the latter, vow to do better tomorrow.
Gourguechon, P. (2017). Empathy is an essential leadership skill -- And there’s nothing soft about it. Forbes.com. Retrieved on: April 15, 2020.
Cools, J. M. (2018). How & why you should strive to understand someone else’s point of view: Specifically when you don’t agree. Medium.com. Retrieved on: April 15, 2020.