Coming Home

“When you realize the role your history plays in shaping your future, your true “home” will appear.”

I’ve been lucky enough to call multiple places “home” in my lifetime and truly mean it. I grew up in a small town in western Pennsylvania, moved to Philadelphia after college, relocated to Michigan, and most recently lived for a brief period in Mexico City. All of these places have been “home” to me, with a very distinct application of that term to each. 

My children were all born in Michigan. To them, Michigan is the only home they know. They scoff at me when I talk about going “home” to western PA and tell me that Michigan is “home.” We truly have made it our home though, evidenced by the fact that when I leave my hometown after a visit, I have no qualms saying that I am heading back home to Michigan. 

Interestingly, I’ve lived away from my hometown for a longer period of my life than I actually lived there. I was one of those people who left for college and never went back. I wasn’t running away. In fact, it wasn’t even a conscious decision. I just had life goals that took me elsewhere. I did, however, continue to visit regularly. My own children know the ins and outs of my hometown. They know where I played as a kid and all of the nooks and crannies of my childhood home. They know their grandparents, great-grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins very well. We have gone “home” to visit regularly throughout their entire lives. It is important to me that my children understand where I grew up and know the places and the people who shaped me into who I am today. So while we started to build our family in Michigan, continuing to forge connections with my hometown for my own family was always a priority.

It wasn’t until our move to Mexico, though, that I realized how much I truly appreciated my hometown and what a large role it played in my life. We lived in Mexico City for a relatively short period of time. During that time, however, I experienced a defining moment that demonstrated the importance of “home” to me. I will always remember exactly where I was sitting in our kitchen when I received the news that my grandmother had suffered a massive stroke. I will also remember hiding away from my family on the balcony terrace in tears for most of the night. I am very close with my grandmother, she is more of a second mother to me. Being that far away from “home”, feeling powerless to do anything, even be present in that moment was life altering. I longed for the day I could board a plane, get home, and be with my people. This experience provided a moment of clarity in my life, clarity that I didn't even know I had been missing. Michigan was the place we had built a life, but my little town in western Pennsylvania would always be my home. After that moment, I began to appreciate every small piece of that town, every memory, every moment. I began to see my hometown through very different eyes. 

Once we were finally able to return from Mexico City to Michigan, I made it my goal to get back to my home as often as possible. Many times going alone just to spend the weekend with my grandma or my parents. On these trips I would run or walk around the entire town, stopping in places where I had experienced pivotal life moments, snapping photos, or just reminiscing. Until this time in my life, I had always appreciated my hometown, but from afar. I never imagined it as a place I would or could ever live again. It was part of my memories, not my future. But, during these trips, I began to wonder. I began to see the town not only as the backdrop of my life’s defining memories but also as a character who played a major role in the development of who I am, in my upbringing. Not everyone is lucky enough to look back on their childhood with such fondness, or even a desire to revisit the moments and memories. I began to realize how lucky I truly was.

I am not sure what the future holds or if I will ever live anywhere near my hometown again. However, I now appreciate my “home” in ways I never did before, and for that I am grateful. Life provides you with eye-opening moments that sometimes alter your path or shift your thinking and allow you to reframe. Due to that pivotal moment in Mexico, I learned that when you realize the role your history plays in shaping your future, your true “home” will appear. Actually, it was always there. Waiting. Ready for your return.